Drawing the line....

at arrogance. At haughtiness. At presumed self-superiority.

I admit that many a time, I probably have been one to fall victim to these myself. There was also probably once a time that I turned up my nose at many a thing that is actually as trivial as anything can get, and yet I felt the need to dramatise and complain unendingly about it just because I had let the lack of judgment within me take over.

These days, I kid not when I say that humility is truly a virtue. I have realised the importance of being humbled over and over again by the things that happen around you everyday, and the path that is laid out for us, which in truth, we probably have not much control over.

I remember in CC, 'Lucy' referred to me as a 'Da Xiao Jie', which irked me slightly, but not as much as it would probably irk me now if someone were to use the same term on me. I am grateful for the fact that I grew up with the policy of 'ask and thou shalt receive', or on several occasions, without even asking. I am even more grateful that I am one of those who was fortunate enough to be raised with a silver spoon in her mouth. So much so that on several occasions during the past few years since I left High School, I have grown increasingly afraid that I might have turned into one of those 'UpperEastSide Snobs', so to speak figuratively.

Many a time when I whine that I lack sufficient 'trendy-looking designer bags' for this year or crave for another Balenciaga or even that particular Valentino, or how I think that Marc by Marc Jacobs is considered 'High Street standard' and that Topshop is just blergh, I check myself right there.

My younger self 2 or 3 years back might have been eager to flaunt designer ware (not that I had that many back then) or obvious comfort in life and the good fortune of incredibly compliant and generous parents, but my current self, believe it or not, strives hard to keep a low profile. It makes me cringe when a weird look crosses the face of the person whom I'm talking to when they realise that I could, on many circumstances, turn out to be the 'Da Xiao Jie' that I have been tagged as. But in reality, I cannot describe how truly humbled I have been in recent times...by everything and everyone, and how afraid I am of turning into a 'designer-clad princess who has every comfort in the world at her feet'...and not just in terms of materials, but in terms of making an effort to accept or get to know everyone for who they truly are, no judgement. I have observed and experienced around me, and truth be told, it is certainly not the most attractive of characters to possess.

I just hope this is what they call growing up.