Familarity Breeds Contempt

Or so I have heard once or twice, and would probably have been caught up unnervingly in an unpleasantly vicious cycle, had Noemi not told me to STOP right there, because Hell No....when you hate a person so much, you might just end up with him/her.

Let this be the end of contempt, for God's sake.

A History

22-year-old Female presents with bouts of vomitting and nausea, as well as chills and fever for the past few hours.

I can't even remember when the last time was, that I actually puked because of a pathological-related reason itself, lest food poisoning.

Such bad timing, I can't even begin to describe it -_-

And to put the cherry on top of the icing, I even have palpitations...and....woweee.....dyspnoea at times.

Am just praying and praying that I will survive the long, dreary flight, and everything after that.

Who wants to clerk me =P

I'm loving all the episodes that the TV Shows have come up with this week. Definitely a well applauded bang to the year end before they go on hiatus for the festive season.

I didn't go as far as to shed tears, because well, how can anyone possibly....for GG. But the pain in Chuck's and Blair's eyes actually scored a point within me, and I was undeniably impressed.

Am in a good mood and enjoying my bumming session already to celebrate a start to the holidays :)

I just realised a moment ago that I am actually going to see Niff again after a zillion years in a week's time!

Yes, I do realise this is horribly shameless...

But due to several requests for pictures of my bangs, I thought I might as well remember them when they still look okay. I'm pretty sure by the next week or so, my hair would have wilted to something unmentionable. Haha.

Bangs are the new Black

I finally decided to go opt for a change from my usual side-swept bangs today.

Not a blunt fringe, definitely. I don't do blunt fringes. Wouldn't know how to describe it except that I was opting for something like Kim Kardashian's new do. A softer blunt fringe, maybe??

But there are very few people I entrust my tresses to, especially when it is something as new as giving me new bangs, and at the end of it, I thought my hairdresser was the cat's pyjamas.

I also have way darker hair now. Strict instructions from my mum to PLEASE get rid of the original colour that had faded beyond mention.

Having spent the past week rushing essays and assignments and forgetting to eat a couple of meals in between in the process, this weekend is a HUGE welcome!

I have had the best time hanging with the chums on Thursday, and even last night. Am now running slightly out of time to fit in all my plans with different people before I leave for home next week.

The only downside is that my Toshiba's LAN Network card managed to get fried by lightning, and even though I had to switch back to my IBM, my connection is super wonky, which I can't, for the love of God, figure out why.

Where has all the time gone?

In the flash of an eye, it is suddenly December....all too soon.

November flew by as though I had never seen it occur, and when I look back on the past term, everything seems to be a blurry of events.

Sometimes I really do look back and wonder: Where has all the time gone?

Adults we are. Responsible, grounded, rational people we are expected to become.

Yet I still fluctuate.....flitting in between my own world of denial where everything is hidden beneath a facade of sarcastic jokes and laughter, and the real world where things are not as fine and dandy as they seem.

Much of life recently has been about rethinking priorities. Reorganising routines that I have become accustomed to for too long. Straightening out the messy bits of life and re-evaluating the words 'happiness', 'necessities', 'aims' and 'wants'.

While alot of the 'new life' has been about really connecting with Medicine and getting in touch wiht a side of me I had never seen before, for a moment there, out of the blue, it almost seemed as though you were a ghost from the past, appearing to haunt me in this one-off occasion.
How wrong was the capactiy.....the context.....the reality of it.
When one could have equated you with all of the above in the past, it is clearer than ever now that you were never meant to be here to stay.

Every now and then we find a special friend...

.....who never lets us down,


Who understands it all, reaches out each time you fall....


You're the best friend that I've ever found :)



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY BELOVED HANNA!


Hope you like this. Hehe.






No Russell & Bromley, hehe, but I hope this suffices.

Lotsa Love,

XOXO

Dream a little dream....

I remembered what we were eating.

I remembered who we were with.

I remembered bits and pieces of the very words you said to me.

I remembered some bits of the conversation we had with everyone else.

I remembered you slicing something into half and dishing it to me.

But I just couldn't remember the name of the place.

Hmmm.....I have no idea why I fell asleep with this scene replaying in my mind.
Random it is....

PS: I miss Manda soooooooooo much it's indescribable =S

Of Life and Lo-Lee-Ta

When I mentioned that Nabakov's 'Lolita' could potentially be interesting reading material to Buaya over summer, he made this disgusted face and proclaimed vehemently that the concept of paedophilia, which was introduced in the book, was downright sick.

Nevertheless, I went ahead and picked up a copy, and have been reading it ever since.

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.

Do people these days write like this anymore?

"There are two kinds of visual memory: one when you skillfully create an image in the laboratory of your mind with your eyes open…and the other when you instantly evoke, with shut eyes, on the dark innerside of your eyelids, the objective, absolutely optical replica of a beloved face, a ghost in natural colours...."

"It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight...."

I hadn't realised how fatigue had taken its toll on me until recently when my mum commented on how exhausted I seemed to look. Without realising it, I had let myself be enraptured in a steadily deteriorating mood-slump that often left me feeling more tired than I probably really was, and left me lamenting about the zillions of jobs that I was supposed to juggle all at once.

And then, as cliched as it may seem, the Lehmann Brothers hoo-ha left me realising that life is only full of uncertainties and unpleasant surprises, and we should appreciate it to the fullest as much as we could.

Really, you are only as busy and as exhausted as you let yourself be.

You are only as overworked and undervalued as you perceive yourself to be.

You only look as lifeless as you let yourself become.

At the end of the day, I realise that as much as the public perceives it to be otherwise, so much of medicine boils down to character building, and it is really up to us to grasp every opportunity and make the best of it before we are permanently moulded into people we don't even know anymore without realising it.

We live and we learn. I know I'm still doing it day by day

[Carrie's narration]:

"Some love stories aren't epic novels. They are short stories, but that doesn't make them any less filled with love"


[Les Mis']:

"He who does not weep does not see"

Ten Things I Love About You

Dear Niff,

1) You listen to me ramble on and on without breathing a single word of protest, despite how crappy the topic of conversation may get.

2) You still dub me the 'Fashionista' even though I have deteriorated beyond measure ;)

3) You are still one of the few people I can talk about anything under the sun with, even though it has been eons since I last saw you (my bad sorry!)

4) You tell me that I am 'thin' and 'skinny' and 'tiny' no matter how fat I have become. Hehe.

5) You manage to cheer me up every single time whenever I feel emo, and you never EVER complain that the topic of emo-shit is almost always the same =S

6) You let me call you silly names like Niffy and Niffy Poo even though we are full-fledged adults now ;) (You know how I only give pet names to special ppl hehe)

7) You let me spam you with MSN msgs, blog comments, wall posts etc etc and reply me patiently every single time without depicting a shadow of annoyance.

8) You have the best ways of dishing out advice and sound words tactfully even though many a time my issues are just downright stupid.

9) You humour me every single time, be it bimbotic conversations, complaints about other people or raves about Greys Anatomy ;)

10) You are just you. My newly-turned 21-yr-old Niffy whom I have now known for a total of 4 years, and still deem the day I met you at the airport, one of the luckiest days of my life :)

May the rest of your year be equally fabulous, just like you.

Happy Birthday Jenn!!!!

Much Love x

There is a reason why I was never a star athlete in High School.

5 or 6 years later, nothing has changed at all. Instead, I have deteriorated so badly that I am mildly appalled at myself.

Had I made myself believe that I could run pretty well back in school?? Or had the competition I had faced back then simply been a shadow of the competition I face now? Or maybe just simply that I have deteriorated beyond measure?

Amidst my horribly aching muscles, I am mildly glad now that my daily schedule is packed with a zillion and one things to do, despite several complaints in the past. At the very least, I can work on my multi-tasking skills, amidst keeping my mind off the most trivial of issues.

On the same note....You know how sometimes you have this mindset that there are some friends you have made in the past that will always have this bond with you?
That no matter how far apart you grow physically or mentally, when you talk again, it seems like nothing has ever changed?

We're no longer the best-EST of friends, no matter how hard we try to make ourselves believe otherwise.

We have different mindsets now, and different opinions of life. And we have grown further apart than you would like to believe.

In truth, there's so much we don't get about each anymore, that the only thing to go from here is just to push forward and let this rift grow further and further apart.

In the past, I was always pretty sure of myself, my mannerisms, preferences, quirks and which type of people I liked hanging out with best.

As of late, I'm all about versatility and adapation. And exploring anything new.

Cheers,
xx

Sometimes I wonder how something so simple can obliterate my mind so completely.

Exhausted.

Please let me sleep forever.

I miss Heffakite, ChanelVersaceRobertoCavalli, Playing Cards and Nua-ing.

It's Only Life

Gosh, I haven't felt this uninspired to blog since....man, I don't even remember.

But in an effort to revive this blog....well, sort of.....there are a few things to sum up this summer.

- Started missing my clinical attachment session after I got home, despite having had to return home late because of it.

- I didn't blog at ALL since my break started. Which is a huge shock. Usually, late nights up alone during hols at home seem to spark the most emo of emo-moments, hence leading to the need to blog.

- I got over my huge distaste and phobia of whiskey that has been present since the start of '07.

- Discovered that my tolerance got better despite having not consumed hard liquor for the whole of the first half of '08.

- Changed my hairstyle. Unintentionally, I might add. I have not had long, straight, layered hair for so long that it felt a little weird at first, but ah well.....hair is just hair =P

- Got a little bored of shopping. Didn't buy anything at all.

- Grew fatter *sobz*

- Lost touch with quite a lot of people, unintentionally too! I'll be back in touch soon ;)

- Booked my tickets to Jkt. See you all soon!!

- Had the most unhappening summer, contrary to hpy's popular belief =P But in so many ways, it was also a fantastic summer, filled with plenty of bumming and zero emo moments.

Relief #2

Relieved that exams are done with and passed!

My loonnnggg holiday of bumming and doing nothing starts properly right now

:)

Could nvr have done this alone.

Thank Youuuuu!

BFFs and Birthdays :)

To My Funky Fashionista (with the coolest hair now hehe) and Bestest Friend in the whole wide world :)

As much as the world and people around you are constantly changing every day, you are the one thing that is constant in mine :)

Happy Birthday, Darling!!

Love you to the moon and back!

<3

Can You Hear Me?

Remember the last Euro? Man, time flies. I can still see myself arguing with hpy over scores, taunting each other's teams, and sitting in the West End, feeling my heart sink when Greece (of all ppl!!) kicked my beloved France out of the competition. Of course, after that I couldn't really be bothered to follow up with the finals.

This Euro is a weird one.

First off, I gave up on France during the last WC when they performed like crap to start with, somehow managed to worm their way into the Finals, and got trumped by Italy.

Which is partly why I didn't bother watching any matches this time around (besides exams of course =P). Because it looks like I wasn't really wrong about Les Bleus this time either. What with Zizou finally out of the picture and Henry warming the bench, and a possibly hopeless make-up of the rest of the team. Bleh.

And there is no England either. Thanks to well....no pushing the blame around. It still feels weird.

So with both teams out of the way, I am forced to heap my support on to another team. No, I am not favouring Italy. Well, not just for the reason that they already got trashed by the Netherlands, along with the fact that they happen to be in the Group of Death. Hahaha. Oops.

What clearer decision to make besides going for the stylish Spaniards? Heh. The team that Fernando Torres - Liverpool superstar is in....even though he has yet to shine. But worry not, he will.

My point?? I think I'm more interested in Euro '08's theme song by Enrique 'Can You Hear Me' than the new Euro champions.

Haha. I'm kidding. Maybe by hook or by crook, the team I'm supporting will win the Finals for once =P

Tachycardia. Tachyarrythmia. GreenTea runs. Late-night ponders.

And it doesn't remotely hurt, really.

Drawing the line....

at arrogance. At haughtiness. At presumed self-superiority.

I admit that many a time, I probably have been one to fall victim to these myself. There was also probably once a time that I turned up my nose at many a thing that is actually as trivial as anything can get, and yet I felt the need to dramatise and complain unendingly about it just because I had let the lack of judgment within me take over.

These days, I kid not when I say that humility is truly a virtue. I have realised the importance of being humbled over and over again by the things that happen around you everyday, and the path that is laid out for us, which in truth, we probably have not much control over.

I remember in CC, 'Lucy' referred to me as a 'Da Xiao Jie', which irked me slightly, but not as much as it would probably irk me now if someone were to use the same term on me. I am grateful for the fact that I grew up with the policy of 'ask and thou shalt receive', or on several occasions, without even asking. I am even more grateful that I am one of those who was fortunate enough to be raised with a silver spoon in her mouth. So much so that on several occasions during the past few years since I left High School, I have grown increasingly afraid that I might have turned into one of those 'UpperEastSide Snobs', so to speak figuratively.

Many a time when I whine that I lack sufficient 'trendy-looking designer bags' for this year or crave for another Balenciaga or even that particular Valentino, or how I think that Marc by Marc Jacobs is considered 'High Street standard' and that Topshop is just blergh, I check myself right there.

My younger self 2 or 3 years back might have been eager to flaunt designer ware (not that I had that many back then) or obvious comfort in life and the good fortune of incredibly compliant and generous parents, but my current self, believe it or not, strives hard to keep a low profile. It makes me cringe when a weird look crosses the face of the person whom I'm talking to when they realise that I could, on many circumstances, turn out to be the 'Da Xiao Jie' that I have been tagged as. But in reality, I cannot describe how truly humbled I have been in recent times...by everything and everyone, and how afraid I am of turning into a 'designer-clad princess who has every comfort in the world at her feet'...and not just in terms of materials, but in terms of making an effort to accept or get to know everyone for who they truly are, no judgement. I have observed and experienced around me, and truth be told, it is certainly not the most attractive of characters to possess.

I just hope this is what they call growing up.

Whatever it takes

Can you feel this???

Even after all this while.....incredulous, isn't it?

I'm so done with trying to be nice.