Sunday, December 02, 2007

When I was mugging for exams, in the midst of moments when I was so utterly exhausted I wanted to just sleep forever, I would jump up in the midst and go NOOOOO!! The one thing I HAD to make sure I did was make it home and then to see my Heffas Hanna, Bao and Woogui, and Chekkie.

Exams have been over 2 weeks or so now, and have been passed.

And yet I'm feeling a tad apprehensive.

What will people see in the changed me?

Last night I discovered that I can no longer do this clubbing thing. I can't stand the taste of whiskey, nor take alot of alcohol, and I can no longer get into the hype of dancing.

So I have become a square. Haha. Hopefully a still stylish square though :)

And that's only one of the few things that have changed. Plus, my hair has been chopped off now. HurHur.

And above all, I really hope that I am doing the right thing. Even if there is still a sickening wrench in my heart whenever I see your name on the screen.

Work resumes tomorrow. Ah well~

Peace out, ppl :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Grateful and relieved :)

Thank You

Darlings here I come~

Saturday, November 24, 2007

My Fondest Memory

Tagged by Jenn A VERY LONG TIME ago. Sorry hun!! Hehe. It's just that I didn't want to simply write something down for this one.

So what is my fondest memory?

At this point, it's hard to say. Haha.

So here are a few of my fondest memorieS:



-- The High School days with Manda and the rest of the Point 2 girls. You know, the days when we sat in groups of 4s and would get scolded by Danny for not paying attention early in the morning. When we sniggered about X, Y, Z and I endlessly and went on quadruple 'dates' which involved movie-watching with no conversation. Lol. The days of dressing up for the most 'important' social event of the year, i.e. Interact Installation Night, giggling about Toyboys and the times that we took for granted because we saw each other every single day. The days of gossiping during History class and religiously memorising Moral definitions. The moments amidst mugging endlessly for exams and after that, SPM, where we managed to insert that little bit of colour into our lives.



-- Post High School Graduation, there were the holidays to look forward to each time. The X'mas holiday traditions which revolved around meticulous plans for NYE, which often resulted in disastrous outcomes, but which every single one of us treasure so much all the time. The numerous outings to the normal places where we hung around talking about things that began with 'Do you remember...' And there were, of course, the many alcoholic stints in between :) As much as we always stood around in circles contemplating about where to go next, agonisingly, because Kch is what we call, a hole....nothing much mattered because there was always the priceless company of friends.



-- CC Days.....the best days of my life. The day I met my TG girls was probably the luckiest, most wonderful day of my life, and I maintain that to this day. Amidst hair-pulling prior to exams, rotting in respective rooms mugging endlessly, memorising lines out of Bio textbooks, doing Math homework in the dead of night and freaking out for interviews, there were many irreplaceable moments that lie fondly within the heart. Laughing about 'Number 4s', practising for talent show dances, deciding what to wear to dances, DJ-ing at discos, tradition Saturday afternoon trips to town, note-writing in class and after class and just gossiping in the corridor or in rooms after curfew. Now I remember, why it was so difficult to part ways during that last day of school, and yet no matter how far apart we all are, you will always be in my heart.



-- I'm not sure how to name this particular memory in a chronological way, so I will just name it 'The Stints with Chekkie,Bao,Annie&Woogui'. Again, without you guys, I would never have survived a great many moments of my life, post-CC, and as much as this sounds phony, the pigging-out sessions around the Kitchen table, the trips to the various eating places, the West End outings, the moments just spent watching Korean movies in Chekkie's room or sappy shows in Bao's living room for the entire day, are amongst the happiest moments of that period of my life....happy moments that I would never have envisioned possible at that time. The silent emotional support you provided, or the time you took out of your busy lives to listen to me rant about my stupid issues is undeniably priceless, and I miss you guys every single day!!!

I always thought that blogging was something like the pensieve in Harry Potter...where you could pull out strands of memories to remember again.

And these, I will remember...forever :)

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Tagged

Tagged by YL Hoo a verryyy long time ago

7 things to do before I die:

1) volunteer with Medecins Sans Frontieres
2) dance to ‘4 seasons of loneliness’ once more
3) live in Boston, or at least visit Boston
4) hang with my darlings like the old times again
5) learn hip-hop dancing professionally
6) go on an unlimited designer shopping spree
7) be a good doctor


7 things I won’t do even if it kills me:

1) smoke
2) engage in drugs
3) become a slob who has no sense of personal style
4) lose all contact with my bestie, my person and my girlfriends
5) try all the disgusting food that I have sworn never to eat
6) become really, REALLY fat
7) backstab my friends


7 things I do when I’m away from the public:

1) sleep
2) cry
3) reminisce about silly things in the past
4) shower?
5) Re-watch House and Greys over and over again
6) Listen to the same favourite song over and over again
7) Camwhore


7 favourite quotes & expressions:

1) REALLYYY?!?
2) Oh crap!!
3) *uncontrollable laughter at sarcasm or funny expressions*
4) ZOMG
5) *withering stare* Lols
6) Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
7) Victory comes to those who believe in themselves


7 favourite songs:

1) Wo Bu Pei – Zhou Jie Lun
2) 4 Seasons of Loneliness – Boyz II Men
3) My Place – Nelly
4) Qi Li Xiang – Zhou Jie Lun
5) Ni Bu Zhai – Wang Lee Hom
6) The Way I Are – Timbaland
7) Ayu – V.E.
(Yes I know my songs are all damn back-dated and weird)


7 things I’ll make you wish you didn’t do:

1) Tap me on the shoulder and poke my cheek with your finger when I turn around
2) Insult my best friends or anyone who really matters to me in my heart
3) Talk about me behind my back while pretending to be nice to me in my face, and let me catch you
4) Judge me, in any way at all
5) Swear at me while shouting at me in public
6) Insult my personal style
7) Hurt those whom I love

7 ppl to tag:

1) Jenn
2) Kim
3) Yeen
4) Manda
5) Cherie L
6) Cheek
7) Jane

Monday, November 12, 2007

Wo Bu Pei

I have reached a new level of addiction to Zhou Jie Lun's new song, even by my standards. Lol.

"If only you weren't Zhou Jie Lun..."

And I echo these thoughts, precisely.

Was it always meant to be of this surreptitious, clandestine manner?

An indifferent mask, displayed to the public....and yet, beneath it....a zillion and one secrets that we reverred in.

Because sometimes I wonder....if I were to bury my head in a hole in the ground so that I wouldn't be able to see you, would you pretend that you couldn't see me too?

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Memoirs

Memory is a strange thing. It seems to capture images as a whole, refusing to omit the tiny, specific details that might, possibly....no longer be there.

And so it is that when I turn my head to the right towards the row of wooden bleachers next to me, I still half expect to see you, in all familiarity amidst the bouncing of the black rubber ball off the walls and the scuffling of court shoes on the wooden floors.

Or that I can still see, through the smoke and throngs of people pushing in front of me, your profile on the couch next to mine, your voice echoing through the incessant boom of loud music in my ears.

Oh how easy it is to OD on these images. These images that are now just pictures. Painted pictures breathing a life of their own...moving haphazardly through the sky. And in that brief moment that I reach out to touch them, they are gone.

Or not.

Because sometimes remembering will lead to a story. A story that seemingly lasts forever.

And that's what stories are for....for when all has disappeared, and there is nothing left that is tangible....except that story of my life.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Home Turf

There are certain meanings words cannot suffice.

Certain connections that need nothing to be said at all.

Such as the familiar feeling of being back on home turf.

And so it is that we keep plodding on, keeping this safe rift between us.

Because it is simply all for the best, really.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Sssshhhh

It doesn't matter if we will meet again
It doesn't matter if you will remember me
I just want to tell you a secret

I love you

Currently addicted to Zhou Jie Lun's theme song for his movie 'The Secret'. Plus the movie was amazingly good, unexpectedly...surpassed....my expectations. Or maybe it was just that bit of it that touched me.

Yes I know, I'm lagging.

Now I remember why I like Zhou Jie Lun so much :)

Friday, October 26, 2007

Moments Like These

A week or so ago, I was in a toy department looking for a birthday gift. After much agonising and brain-wracking so as what to buy, I suddenly stumbled upon a familiar face.

Guess who! ;)

Minnie Mouse!!!! :)))

Hehehe. And in that split second, I saw Jenn's face and the scene in my tiny room, where her disgusted face said it all in retaliation to my proclaimation that I liked Minnie Mouse.

To which I protested indignantly. "Whattt!!! What's wrong with Minnie Mouse! She's cute!"

"Noooooo her voice is like 'MinNniiEeeee MOUssee'! It's so 'xiao jie!'"
(The caps and uncapped letters are meant to be try and indicate the hilarious way in which she varied her high and low pitches....hahahaha)

And at that very moment in the toy store, I burst out laughing uncontrollably all by myself, thinking of that very scene that happened 2 years ago.

Lol.

It's moments like these that I know I will remember forever :) And a person like you who is irreplaceable.

PS: Niffy this is dedicated to you. Hahaha. May you grow to like Minnie some time soon. Lols.


Everything DOES happen for a reason, even if it doesn't seem like it at this very moment.

May we all continue to be strong in trundling down that long, winding path.

And whatever it is, I will always be here with open arms and an open heart. (And broad shoulders ;))

XOXO

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The things that do


... matter are the ones deemed most unspeakable from my heart.

So where does the heart lie?

Obliquely in the mediastinum, from the 2nd rib to the 5th intercostal space

Currently?

Torn into two. Approximately 3,000 miles and 6,000 miles away.

And speaking of cardio.....I love Cardio bar. It gives me the right amount of endorphines I need these days. And yet pilates took that away by adding to the aching muscles.

My verdict? Starving is so much easier.

And yet thatttt... my weight, the one thing that mattered so much to me back then, hardly ruffles a feather now. Hardly changed as it has, I can't really be bothered to keep up with the famous 'water diet' any longer, lest the 'nothing' diet.

Things that matter in your life change. And Life is short. Yet it is full of ups and downs.

But the ups are what we live for. And when I look back on the ups of my existence, there was always, ALWAYS you, even when I made it all about me.

And cheesy as this may sound, I love you :) Not just for every ounce of the courageous person you are that I could never ever become, but because you are you.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

It seems like the day has come. I have finally lost interest in Greys Anatomy.

Slogging through all 3 episodes feeling bored and disorientated left me with a strange feeling. The only emotion I got from the series being a surge of immense irritation at Derek at the end of Ep 2 for his lack of self control.

It was a very Meredith-like moment, nonetheless, that bout of deranged irritation. Like I was getting mad at Derek....a moving figure on a show on my laptop screen....when the anger was really directed somewhere else.

Haha.

That ship sailed a very long time ago.

And yet sometimes I still see myself standing at the dock looking into nothingness.

And this is one of those days.

DELETE DELETE.

*kapish*

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Happy 20th, Darling :)


For all the times you were there for me, even when I was whining about the most stupid things in the world.
For all the moments that you stood by me and offered your shoulder for me to cry on, even when you were a zillion miles away.
For all the laughter you induced in me, which only you can do. Hehe.
For all the bimbotic times we shared, even when it involved sporadic MSN conversations.
For all the times that I proclaimed someone was FAT and you retaliated in horror. Hahahah.
For all the conversations when you tried to talk some sense into me.
For all the things that you confided in me about, even the smallest things :) (They mean the world to me)
And even though I have been a little MIA this year, I hope you know that at the end of the day...
You mean all of the above to me, and more.
Happy Birthday, Bestie :)
Love Always,
Your 'person' :)

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The simplest things...

.... are the ones that touch you the most.

And that phone call all the way from Melb did just that :)

Saturday, August 18, 2007

And My Baby Turns 19!! :)

Heheheh Happy 19th Birthday to my baby / hot chick/ sexypoo Rexanna!

You've been the greatest friend and confidante to me through all the good and bad times.

From the 'playing music on repeat mode' days

To taking part in disastrous talent show dances (LoL)

To fabulous holidays in Kch

To putting your fabulous baking skills to work for Kambing's bday

To talking with Noemi in the corridors till wee hours of the morning (and laughing at me :S)

To everything else that matters and touches my heart in every possible way.

Those I will always treasure. And remember....forever :)

Lurve you to bits, baby! (Obvious favourtism muahahaha)

XXOO,

Mummy

PS: I think you're my only family member left. And Noemi Jie. Everyone else has ditched me and left. Husband, daughter, son, Ah mah, Ah kong.....everyone! Boo =S Hahhaha.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Two words...

You're Therapeutic :)

PS: And a very Happy belated Bday shout goes out to the Liangster. Hehe. Happy 22nd.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Samantha Thavasa :)

Today I am reminded of the reason I pulled through those darkest days of my life.

And today I realise that nobody could ever replace you as a friend, no matter how far apart we may be.

Thank You.

Samantha Thavasa is the bomb. Hehe.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Today, under the dimmest light shining through some clouds, I finally realise....

That not everyone can and will understand my ways

That I should learn to be less demanding

But today, I also realise that at the end of the day, you are infinitely there for me

And that no matter how our friendship has been bent in all possible ways

There is a reason why you will always be my hpy :)

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Lacrimosa

If I could choose to be teleported to a particular time of my life, I would choose 2003.

Because that was when I was focused, Zhin-free and had yet to see so much more in life.

And even though the year or so after perhaps comprised some of the best moments of my life when you waltzed through it, there is nothing I would trade now to go back to then. No matter how much it remains embedded in the lobes of my brain.

And as of now, it bothers me how much messing up a person's emotions disturbs me.

Am I such a bad person after all?

And somehow, it's just not the same anymore. Like we were trying to hard to go back to before even though frankly it felt utmostly different. Especially when I seemed to be increasingly obsessed about a certain other factor the entire night. Which was....disturbing, as such.

I'll give you this though. You're still you. Maybe I'm just not me any longer.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Did you ever wish you could just disappear?

Sometimes....

That's how I feel.

Sometimes I feel I should just be an antisocial character and stop talking to everyone.

Well, certain people at least.

Till I can learn not to feel anything at all any longer.

Two lows in two consecutive nights, ignited by two different ppl...the first being someone I shouldn't even be bothering about simply because we don't know each other well even.
I'm aghast.

So if I can't learn to be devoid of all this....

Could I at least just evaporate into the surrounding atmosphere?

I guess I spoke too soon about not having anymore strange posts....

Talking to an old friend brought indescribably wretched feelings deep within. Simply because I understand how he feels sometimes.....oh too very well. And because it pains me how I thought I could just push everyone out of my life.

Whatever it is, I'm here for you....always....

The Summer So Far~

To My Person :)

This is for you. No more strange posts. Instead, a properly narcissistic one filled with loads of stupid pictures. Hehe. Have been meaning to post up pics but the connection is just retarded, as always. Lol.

Now you update too, kays?

xxxx

-- Pictures from the clubbing outing with Mo and the girls from ages ago. Look how long my hair was then OMGGGG --


-- Random shots from the girls' (YuanLih, GanLi, Caryn & MeiLee's) visit to Kch: end of June --

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Once upon a time, on the 20th of June....

...... the most amazing person in the world was born :)

On this day, 20/06/07, she turns the big 2-1.

Happy 21st Birthday, Manda!! You mean the world to me, and so much more.

You've had my back through all the dark days of endless whining and outburst of emotions where you seemed to demonstrate infinte patience and the greatest sense of empathy ever.

Through all the sticky moments where we would crack our heads on where to hold our annual NYE Celebration this year.... ;)


Through hilarious moments over Absolut Mandarin in Bar Zing and sniggering about Zhin, I, Bobi, Hide or Ina. Lol.


And through the fun times where we would talk on the phone for hours on end as though three years had not flown by in a glimpse since the days of sharing my table and gossiping during History class.

You know me inside out, even when I'm holding back things that cannot be put forth in coherent words, and you always ALWAYS understand me most. And when I realise that my days are flying by ever so quickly with each year being added on the calendar (and me feeling old in the process), when I hang out with you, I'm reminded ever so dearly of our High School days and how life could possibly have been so bright and shiny back then compared to now. And even if we have changed throughout this entire time, you have definitely not changed one bit as my bestest best friend :)



~~** To Utah, From Massachussetts....with Love :) ** ~~ LOL

Words cannot do justice as to how much your friendship has touched my life in the greatest of ways.....so off the top of my head, here are a few highlights that I will always keep in my heart wherever we may be....five, ten or even twenty years from now....

~* My 7th Birthday Party.....even though it ended in the most disastrous of ways and I still feel a little tinge of guilt since then, I'm glad it marked the beginning of our friendship :) Hehe.

~* Quadruple *ahem* 'dating'....with Yenny & Denise, and X,Y,Z & I. Hahahah. I remember the very first show we watched. Miss Congeniality. And even though, come to think of it now, it couldn't possibly have been any more awkard than that, LOL, it was one of the most FUN moments of my life. Not just because it was funny, but because you were there ;)

~* Phone conversations that last for hours on end. The latest one in my mind being our recent dissection of my 'outing' with Zhin. Hahahaha. To you I can yak on forever and ever as if time had stood still. I have only found one other person whom I can do that with....and yet at the end of the day, he is still nothing compared to you. Hehe *muacks*

~* Our 'compatriot-ly' games....hahaha, in the days where our footie knowledge could have challenged those of the ESPN presenters and stalking info of Hide and Ina online seemed to provide the dire entertainment needed in F4 and F5 while every Arsenal vs Liverpool match was exciting in every possible way (although the outcome was almost always the same). Lol.

Ahhhh, the nostalgia. Hehe. Despite how much I wish I could turn back the hands of time to that moment where seeing each other everyday in school was taken for granted, there is nothing I would trade for this. For how much of a pillar you have been to me and how our friendship has withstood the wear & tear of time only to remain very much like before.

So here's to 14 years of being friends, and many more to come :)

PS: Oooooh this provided me with the best form or procrastination possible. Sorry though, my picutre uploading thingy is weird, so more pics at a later date. Hahahah. Happy 21st Birthday, babes! And rmb.....I lurrrveeeeeee youuuu, bestie <3~>

Friday, June 15, 2007

Getting in touch with reality

A request from my Niffeyhh Baybbeehhh, hence the update, even though there is absolutely nothing to update on. Lol.

I've changed so much in the past few months that it's almost unbelievable. I realised I had become a different person ever since I left school all those years back, and to change even further from that...well....sometimes I'm not sure who I really am or want to be anymore. I am aware that change isn't necessarily always a good thing, but I am also aware that I am closer to discovering myself now than ever before, and the person I am today, despite being a shadow of the person I would like to be, is very much more ME than the person I was back in High School.

I have also discovered, that some of my friends from back home have never changed one bit. And again, I'm not saying this is necessarily a good thing. It never ceases to amaze me, the myriad of personalities that exist amongst the people I know in this world. And yet it also exasperates me, at times, how some people could possibly act in certain ways. At the risk of sounding judgmental, a free world as it is, there are certain standards that are expected of a person in terms of being labelled a nice, down-to-earth, humble, sensitive, generous human being, and as much as I dwell on the phrase 'That's what friends are for', friends are around to give and take, help those in sticky situations, lend a shoulder to cry on and so much more. I've had my fair share of giving and taking (bless those people, you know who you are ;)), and yet ever since I left my comfy days of TG and Baby E, I have realised that the definition of friends has varied so widely in this very day, amongst different people, that it pains me at times.

I cannot dwell enough on how much insensitivity, blatant rudeness, mean attributes and such could kill a friendship, and I cannot stress enough now. On the surface, I may be the epitome of calmness in public. I will do things obligingly within my limits if you have to ask, even if I think it is downright unreasonable. I will go along with things that I dislike, just because I don't want to cause an unnecessary squabble. I will never raise my voice and shout at you in public, simply because I believe in basic courtesy and the way I portray myself amongst people. And yet, somewhere along the line, I will break. And even though I might not show it, or the cracks will heal almost immediately, the growing rift between those individuals is inevitable.

In the 12 months or so from now, when I see my friends from home again, it will indefinitely be awkward. I am changed, but I have changed into a person that is perceived differently by them than I would have liked myself to be. And yet, does it matter? Does it matter that it would possibly be my name on the table this time being labelled a b*tch by people because I am ungrateful and have abandoned my relationships with the rest? Does it matter that people will see me differently in a not-so-flattering light (if not already now) because there have been incorrect judgements of my character being passed around verbally? To be truthful, it doesn't bother me one bit. When you are stuck in ruts or drowning in seas, friends are supposed to be there, through thick and thin, because they will know you inside out, and even if people change, the connection between them will always exist, if the friendship is true. And if it doesn't....well, enough said.

I don't mind nonsensical banter, or sitting around the table talking about lame stuff, but untruthful gossip, belittling judgements of people and calculative accounts of others definitely do NOT get my vote.

My calm composure at all times does not mean I have infinite patience and endurance. I am but human, after all.

I realise that my blog is cryptic as such, but it is my turf after all.

And finally, contrary to the popular common conclusion that might be drawn after reading this entry, I am NOT, I repeat.....NOT complaining about people in particular. I do not complain about people in particular. To me, you do not anger me unless you are significant enough. And no, nobody significant enough to me is guilty of such proceedings. This entry is not meant for whinging purposes or to grovel for empathy from others. It is merely a series of ponderings that I have translated from thoughts to clumsy strings of words, and even though you might write it off as judgmental, I think there is some truth in it. And I am merely voicing it aloud because all of the above are potentially exasperating in every possible way, and as people who do not want such things done to them (I'm sure), the things above should definitely not be done unto others.

I will update about more coherent, day-to-day stuff after next week :)

Last but not least, a shoutout to my person Niffy Poo. You are the best! You provide me with the much-needed breaks and help maintain my sanity. You amuse all my silly rantings about certain peopole or things in particular, so that's why I need to say this. You must always be honest with me k? ANY time that I am being self-centered or annoying or just too freaking long-winded, you have to tell me. Lol. Cos you are one of the few ppl I can tell everything to, and hmmm....well....enough said. Muacks, babes!! :)

PS: Manda!!! Choose a favourite state! Hehehehe. And keep updating, because your taggie is my only insanity-releasing outlet these days. Hugs lurrveee you to bits and for a fraction of a second, I even wish i was in Ade. Hehehe ;) -- Massachussets -- LOL.

And Woogui aka King of my Kingdom aka G17! Come out of ur shell!!!! You too, RoyalBaoOnTheGoldenPlatter!!!

xxxx

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Put that smile back in place


How is it that talking to someone who allegedly accuses me of remembering him once every 6 months can make me smile more than talking to you?

Screwed up sleeping hours and late nights up alone trigger the playing of Gwen Stefani's '4 In The Morning' on repeat, and somehow, amidst all this numbness, random snippets of life are triggered, and I am reminded of scenes of hanging out in my room for hours on end.

It's funny how my entries spike exponentially during certain periods of my life. A good destressing method, if anything...I presume?

Don't mind me =)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

'A woman's heart is like an ocean full of secrets'.

Someone once commented that I must have been born in the wrong era of music and movies. I seem to be stuck in the 90's when it comes to the entertainment industry. With the exception of Zhou Jie Lun and R&B of course.

But a vast majority of my favourite films of all time exist from the 90's.

And recently, I downloaded Titanic to rewatch again.

My friend told me I was mad.

I found it strangely captivating, especially the last bit when she was going down and everything was finally coming to an end...lost under thousands of feet of icy, cold water.

Then I realised all the times that I had been feeling pensive over what I had 'lost' the past 1 and a half years, was in fact, a misconception.

Instead I realise now I had voluntarily thrown it out of my life.

When I dreamt that I had been shot, I also dreamt that you saved me. And that came to my mind, a split second after I woke up, still reeling from the shock and thinking that it was real. For a moment, I was strangely comforted, and then the feeling passed.

I never realised how much I had relied on you until you ceased to exist. I guess you were the one who was around, most of the time, when turmoil and tension weren't boiling forth by the minute. But you never really did much, except be THERE.

And that's just not enough anymore, is it?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

No Miracle This Time

To be fair, I think Milan probably deserved to be dubbed European Champions more than Liverpool.

When you are erratic and you play inconsistently ALL the time (rolls eyes), you don't deserve to win the Champions League. And I guess this time there was no second miracle for the Reds.

*sigh* I'm having mixed feelings at the moment. Enough to trigger a blog post, at least. Lol Yes, I am updating *wow!*.

Anyway, back to my analysis of this 2007 Champions League Final. I DIDN'T watch it....Surprise Surprise! Hahaha. That's probably why S*man keeps saying I'm not a true Liverpool fan. But ANYWAYYYY.....Fillipo Inzaghi is currently OFF my list of favourite footballers. I remember I used to like him ALOT last time. Well, at least it wasn't Kaka. Hehe. Oh welll oh well~ I guess that's the way things are when you rely on one person, i.e. Steven Gerrard to do all the scoring, and when his boots aren't looking so good one particular match, you are screwed =P

Liverpool, you better BUCK UP NXT SEASON!

I know I'm weird, but I am superstitious when it comes to footie matches. To me, every time there is an important final and the team I root for happens to be a part of it (much to everyone's surprise), I always see two outcomes: one good, and one bad. OKAY, I know I sound like I'm off my rockers, but it's just me. Lol.

To some extent, I'm wondering what will happen this time with Liverpool's defeat. I can already see one bad sign in my life: I could have FREAKING DONE SO MUCH BETTER for my interview than just now. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I have never NEVER NEVERRRRRR blanked out before in the midst of an interview, and for a few seconds here and there, I did!!!! I mean, I wasn't horrendous. But I could have been really perfect! Argh.

*Okay, Shing. Don't stress. Don't stress. It's not that important. It's only 2%. The assessment is the major component that will make or break you*

Hmm....I shall ramble on more so that Woogui will not keep shouting on my tagboard about me not updating when she herself is becoming more cryptic than I can ever be with no words in her posts. Lol.

- Volunteered at the children's cancer ward yesterday. It was...erm.....okay I guess. There were too little people volunteering this week to make a good, productive session out of it, so we were pretty laid back and not doing much except re-decorating the place. Also, most of the children weren't feeling very well that day :S I know this sounds incredibly cliched and cheesy, but it really pains me to see them sometimes. The chemo machine beside the bed, the IVs, the bedpans, the caps on their heads.....-sigh- I often wonder if this were to happen to me, if I could ever be as strong (mentally) as the parent who sits by their beds for those long days or weeks.

- Felt dissatisfied about an A- I found out that I got for my essay, and then felt ungrateful after because the average mark ppl seemed to be getting was a B. Oh well, essays don't prove anything, really. They just prove you're good at crapping. Haha. Still, have to prove myself a bit more for the next essay. And to be fair, I didn't really put that much effort into my last one. Didn't even want to edit it anymore for the final time before I submitted it because I was sick of it.

- Watched the finale of Greys over and over again. Not that I liked it that much. Why is it that I seem to like Season 2 more than Season 3? Hmmm. I started off the show liking Meredith much more than everyone else, thinking that I get Meredith, because I seem to be able to connect much more with her character. Now, at the end of Season 3, I seem to be more into Cristina than Meredith. And my annoyance at Izzie has wavered off completely. I actually FEEL for her now, instead of just wishing she would snap out of her emo-ness. I still get Meredith at some points, though. Meredith is strange, and bizarre in the weirdest ways - such as measuring her own happiness against the success of Cristina's journey to the altar, but I get her for that. But I feel that at this point now, I could do with a lot more Cristina in my personality. Haha.

- Caught up with a really old friend (we go all the way back to Primary 1!) who stopped over for a while on the way home for hols. It was nice because I hadn't seen her in over a year and we managed to talk quite a bit. Also, talking to her managed to change my view of priorities in life slightly, and I'm really quite thankful for that.

Sometimes I feel irritated at myself because I get annoyed at certain people, and then I check myself and say that I SHOULDN'T be annoyed, because he/she is my friend. He/she has done alot for me, and I should be grateful. But I still can't help it at times. I know no one is perfect, myself included. But sometimes people should just look into the mirror when they are at the ugliest of forms (emotionally) and make sure they don't cross all those unwritten boundaries. Because when you push me, the least I can do is retaliate after one or two trials. I can't remain stoic and take your crap every single time.

And then there are those people who just say all the WRONG things at the wrong times. When someone, say, cuts herself on the arm with a knife, and the wound is significant, do you rub salt into their wound? Do you hang around and state the painful truth saying 'OMG! That's such a bad cut! It's so deep! How in the world can you be so clumsy?!' ? As a friend, you're supposed to offer words of empathy and concern. Some friends choose to hide it on the surface and display their concern in a less obvious way, and many people have different ways of showing it, but so far I have been nothing less than endlessly thankful of my friends (my bestie, my person, my TG girls and my Rummies girls) for their blessed presence in my life. I cannot emphasise enough on how I wish some of my High School or other friends could be more like them. I know it's unfair to pinpoint as such, but when people really get on your edge, you start to realise the truth in it all.

Insensitivity. Blatant rudeness. Hypocritical actions. Lying. Indifference. Belittling tendencies.

In copious amounts, these are what get to me the most. And I'm sure, any other living, breathing person.

Lol. Okay, okay. Breathe. I'm not depressed or upset or emotionally affected by anyone in any way (especially not anyone I have been previously associated with in the past...please. lol). It was just a general outburst of thoughts because I have been on the receiving end of potentially ticking-off things for the last 2 weeks or so. And I have been behaving like a model human being by brushing everything off and channeling my days and nights into important, academic matters.

I have some pics but the uploading thing doesn't seem to work. Hmmm.

On a happier note, Zhin always knows how to put the smile back on my face :) Pity how I only always rmb to talk to him when I feel a little crappy though. Hehe.

~ Awesome and out ~

PS: Hanna, bring back an olive for me. LOL. Or a figurine of Zeus. Hurhur.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Relived

Those ppl who have been bugging me for ages to relive my Facebook account will be glad. Ahem, Hanna.

Add me: alyssasim@gmail.com

PS: Couldn't find it in my heart to turn down da bestie Manda. Lol. So girl, you better write on my wall every single day cos no one else will. Haha. Hugs.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

And even after Columbine....

I thought that the 1999 Columbine massacre was the worst any school shooting would get.

Then Virginia Tech happened....and the world was aghast....me included.

When I first heard the news, I was sceptical about its scale of seriousness, especially since it had never crossed my mind that someone in my family would actually be facing a gunman for real one day.

But when the death toll of 33 stared me in the face, I can only say I was thankful. It must have been traumatising, no doubt about that. I know I was, even in a different continent, having only read the news hours after it occurred.

I can only vent my disapointment and sorrow for the gunman. How a kid of Asian descent, nonetheless, could possibly be so disturbed and screwed up sends chills down my back, especially after watching his manifesto on video.

It's incredulous what can happen in a split second today.

As for those involved in the V Tech massacre....I feel for them.

This made me think vaguely of the episode in Greys when Alex and Addison discovered that their patient was a Jane Doe.

"I mean, she's all alone. Makes me wonder, if I went missing, would anyone notice?"

May Virginia Tech finally rest in peace...

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Two full days of nothing but pure slacking, to celebrate the fact that I am finally on par.

Oh joy :)

The past week has been a myriad of experiences:

Finally broke a fever that wouldn't go away, with self prescribed meds
Library-ing in the afternoons
Desperate Housewives marathons
Discovered the coolest new show, 'Kitchen Confidential'
Became addicted to cereal
Screwed up my zzz-ing hours
Watched 'Sunshine' and was traumatised :O

Okay, no more slacking tomorrow. Back to the mugger sack.

PS: Woogui, I am sooo sorry. I don't mean to dao you intentionally on MSN. If it's a weird hour, it means that I'm asleep and my very 'creber' MSN logged on itself. Hahaha. So don't keep appearing offline!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Keep Moving Forward

Something upset me very badly a while ago, and for the first time in ages, it wasn't XY-chromosome-related.

And then it struck me that all the times I'd been wallowing in self pity about my so-called complicated soap-opera issues that had broken me into a million pieces, I was really being just one thing: Idiotic.

I swear I will rise above all this criticism and bad-mouthing and bitching behind my back and prove that I am anything but ordinary.

It's okay if you think I am useless or below you or not as smart or as pretty or just simply incomparable.

Because I know I am so much more than that.

It's funny how I was just telling Chekkie last night that my life has been reduced to nothing but a sad routine, and someone else was telling me that life is so much more than that.

Now I'm taking myself by the shoulders and shaking myself hard...because I realise life is NOT more than this.

And all I've got now is to Keep Moving Forward....

It's funny sometimes, you realise you don't really know who the people who are REALLY close to you are anymore...

Monday, April 02, 2007

Happy 21st, Voon!




On the 3rd of April 1986, Voonie aka Momo was born! Hurhur.


Happy 21st Birthday, Voonie! :)


Hahah hope you had fun through all those insane moments.


Thank you for being a fab best fried!


Welcome to the club, hope you have a great one!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Je me rapelle

Today I saw a pile of leaves blowing in cirlces in the wind on my way back, and I felt this instant jolt of deja vu.

"Have you ever wondered why the wind blows leaves in circles on the ground?"

Lol

The random things I remember~

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Volunteering at the charity home today was probably the most beneficial thing I had done in a very long time. The only problem was that I spent the whole morning feeling like I was going to puke on the kids at any moment - that's what you get from too much Gold Label, Vodka and Baileys the night before. And I didn't even get sloshed! Gosh, where has my tolerance gone?!

The highlight of the day was a crumpled birthday card dedicated to me by my favourite girl at the home :)

Seeing 'Happy Birth Alyssa' and 'I like Alyssa' written in crayons and a "Please come back and see me" when I was leaving totally made my day. I actually had that warm, fuzzy feeling inside, corny as it may sound, and for a moment I forgot that I had been tasting JD in my throat all morning. Haha.

I felt something today. And I haven't felt like this in a very long time. Nor wanted to.

It's weird.

Maybe it's the JD. Hahaha. Or maybe it's the fact that I had dimsum today for the first time in ages.

I'm beat. I've spent less than 24 hours in my place these past 2 days -__-

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Today, seeing these things struck a chord:

- Haruki Murakami

- Ted Baker

- Starbucks (of hot chocolate addictions and slicing a muffin into ten pieces. lol)

- Zara


I remember~


PS: Hotlegs you ditched me on Gtalk!!! Haha.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

My Valentine

Lemme rephrase...my ValentineS! :)

So here goes.....in no specific order:

Colour Anniieeee~* (omygeddd this is such a bad pic hahaha)




Manda*~





Jenn*~



Woogui*~




Bao*~





Chekkie*~



Hanna*~



































And this doesn't even nearly depict how much you guys mean to me. Hehe.



I heart you loads~!



Happy V-Day, babes :)


XXOO













Friday, February 09, 2007

I have three words for you:

Watch 'The Prestige'!

Okay, I know I am a little slow.....it came out like last year, I know, but I just downloaded it, and it had me mesmerized for 2 hours! Hugh Jackman totally rocks in that movie (partially because it seems like he lost alot of weight and looks much better than Wolverine in Xmen. hurhur) and so does Christian Bale. So watch it, people, if you haven't!


And this is currently my favourite video of all time. LOL. You are too funny. Hahaha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It_VtYyVr3Q

(Sorry, tried pasting the video on this page, but it messed up my margins at the side completely, so just go to this URL. hehe)


Sell-Out 2007's gonna rock everyone's socks off....you just wait and see :)

I have faith in you....that's why I'm not gonna wish you too much luck. Because like I said from the beginning, it WILL be a blast ^^

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Of corny shows and boredom

Hola compadres~

Okay, Heffahanna requested of me to blog more and about understandable things....so I'm trying, I'm trying. It's kinda hard when your life is this mundane. Lol.

Lately, I'm ashamed to admit, boredom has driven me to the point of desperation, i.e. racking my most trusted companion Youtube for stuff to indulge myself in. And then one day, I came across this Singaporean show called 'Girls Out Loud', featuring Power98's DJ, Rosalyn Lee and the famed *ahem* blogger, Wendy Cheng aka Xiaxue.

The show got me strangely interested, nonetheless. Firstly, because I was intrigued by who this Rosalyn was...seeing as she has a similar name to my Heffa (only lacking one N! HurHur) and secondly, because I had never seen Xiaxue in action before, as much as I had read one or two controversial issues about her blogging.

So I started off watching the show in a very cynical manner, cringing at Wendy's one too many displays of Singlish slangs to the MAX and her oh-so-corny remarks which caused many eye-rolling moments. Can't imagine what I'm trying to say? Think tres bimbotique, complete with fake eyelashes and one too many pink, ruffly outfits that seem to scream 'Fashion Disaster!'.

But as much as I was skeptical about the intellect of the show, I continued to watch it. HurHur. Now that's controversial, ain't it?

And then as much as I'm embarrassed to admit, I started getting hooked on it. Not to the extent that I actually started appreciating the content, but I couldn't stop watching the episodes. Hahahah. I blame it on boredom. So much so that I have to resort to watching stupid stuff like seeing Ros and Xiaxue attempt pole-dancing, totally flunk a mock job interview, make lame attempts at acting/singing and so on. Lols. And I noticed a pattern there...Ros was always the better one. Wendy was just....gawd....useless beyond words. I hope I am not such a 'girly' girl....to certain extents, it becomes damn annoying! What sparked the slightest bit of interest, however, was that I got to see a real life appearance of the Sarong Party Girl aka Izzy in one of the episodes. I'm sure most of you know her. She's that controversial blogger who has a strong preference for Mat Sallehs and an *ahem* scandalous lifestyle.

Well, well, well....that just about sums up my encounter with 'Girls Out Loud'. Heffabao, maybe you'd like to try watching it (when you have nth better to do, of course. heheh) to see how much you like your name buddy. HurHur. I assure you, I like you much better than her ;) Though she's not so bad compared to her co-host. And for the rest, whoever is interested in seeing a real life bitch fight between some model Mia and Xiaxue, go for it! Lols.

Sidetracking a little, there was this era in me and my Point 2 girls' lives when we were completely crazy about football.....after the 2002 WC in Korea/Japan. And I remember me and Manda used to have this 'compatriot' thing going on with her preference for Ina and my obsession with Hide. Hahahah. What's funny is that we both haven't seen Ina or Hide (or rather, Inamoto and Nakata) on TV for 2 years at the least. In my case, I haven't watched a proper footie match for almost half a year. Lol. Anyway, that's beside the point....look what I found!

Issei Nakajima Furron.....a J-League player who is half Jap and half Canadian. And hmm....what can I say.....quite a looker, don't you think? Hehe. Well, I mean....I would think he's much better looking than Hide or Ina, though it may be an unfair judgement because I haven't seen either of them in ages....but still....lol....makes me wonder how differently the Hide-Ina era would have turned out if this guy had been better known back then, ey? ;)

HurHur.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Irreplaceable

"It's okay if we're not always together"

It's okay....

It's okay

It better be okay

The emptiness that slogs on is...well....just indescribable. The fact that CNY is approaching seems to have lost its flavour a long time ago. Well, I was never exactly enthusiastic about CNY, having spent so many of them away from the hustle and bustle of it, and this year it's no different.

It's been a DECADE....literally. HurHur.

Days like these, I just want to bury myself like an ostrich in the sand. Hmm....on second thought, maybe with my laptop and an Internet connection as well. It's e-mails like these that keep me going. HurHur.

Reading about your numerous trips to that new Korean hang-out
Laughing aloud at your phrases like kanchiongspider :)
Being influenced by so much of your lameness that I am now lame beyond words
Laughing...literally laughing...at the computer screen at your sarcasm and then feeling utmost gratitude towards your simple gestures

What would I do without friends like you guys? :) HurHur

Am currently hooked on Beyonce's 'Irreplaceable' and Stacie Orrico's 'I'm Not Missing You'

Hmm I wonder. Lol

Friday, January 26, 2007

Long overdue holiday shots....fab moments :)



Saturday, January 13, 2007

One week.

And it kinda sucks.

Still...adaptation is the key.

HurHur.

I can already feel the day being gloomier because the Bestie Manda took off to Adelaide this morning, or rather, this afternoon :((( Thank you for making the holidays so much more meaningful, babe! I hope I see you soon...like mid yr in Melb! Hehe.

Also, a special shout-out to Voonie, Eve, Nise, Manda, Jane, Kel, Amelia, Jiat and Yon for making my pre-21st bday surprise that much more meaningful....not to mention flabbergasting. Well, more on that later.

And, thanks to the Liangster for his chauffeuring duties this holiday. You're finally relieved of them. It was good hanging out after so long :)

One week....
(Woogui, I can be cryptic too. Hahaha)

I miss you already!! Talk soon babe!!