Sunday, September 26, 2010

You know Apple is taking over the world when....


......this conversation happens between you and your consultant.

Me: Yeah, I've just looked up (this drug) on Pocket Prescriber.

DB: Isn't there an app for that sort of thing?

Me: Yes, probably, but I don't use an iPhone.

DB: Oh, right.

Me: (In my head) Pfftttt not EVERYTHING in life is about iPhones, iMacs or iPads, y'know.

Now I refuse to succumb EVEN more!!!

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly


This week has actually been alot more productive compared to the last. I started off the Monday with a good candidate as a Grand Round patient, managed to get almost all my WBA's signed off by today (Friday), and had a really good week overall - with Daisy, Lynn and Nenek last night, and my firmmate today. It's a little strange how I realise that I have ended up clicking best with this firmmate of mine, even though I was a little apprehensive at first, seeing as he was this orang putih guy whom I initially thought was a tad quiet and whom I had never known to exist before this.

Him: "No, we DO have the same phone." (I use a BB Curve 8900 and he, a Bold 9700).

Me: "No, look at the buttons. And also I use a Curve and you use a Bold."

Him: "What? Mine's a Curve and yours is a Bold?"

Me: Hahahahahahah!!!! (At his obvious lack of knowlege of Blackberrys)

He amuses me through and through. Not to mention his blurness does remind me of hpy at times. Oncology has not been fantabulous, but I will say that conversations with him are probably the best part of this whole rotation. Not to mention a nice dress sense. Ahhhh, crush-worthy - from a safe distance. Because I know he has a girlfriend. Well, cheap thrills :)

But we had a really good teaching session with the CT2 who had been on study break and was just recently back, and both managed to get a CEX signed off.

Good day :)

I hope my good days continue and that my mood will remain this elevated for a while. And seeing as I am anticipating a good weekend of Opera with Chekkie & Zen and a good luncheon with Daisy Hoo, I am pretty sure I will be okay.

Yet, I need to constantly remind myself that all demons of the mind are IN the mind itself and do not exist outside of it in real life.

Even if they are demons of your past, that you have cursed yourself a zillion times over for ever making that most stupid mistake of your life.

As hpy has constantly reminded me last year, that momentary blip in my life has probably forever tarnished my record AND my reputation. And yet I have moved on and put that part of my life behind.....with HUGE relief!

Ah well, I guess I always knew that she who has skeletons to hide in her closet will one day be found out eventually anyway.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

My Mental Kick


Reading a friend's blog gave me a mental kick to make myself realise that I should not be wallowing and drowning further in my self-conjured rut before I could no longer save myself.

It took me a whole day of Acute Medicine on Friday at MAU to make myself aware that I had to buck up, or else I was already breaking the solemn promise I had made at the beginning of this academic year. Sure, Oncology perhaps was not the career of my dreams, yet I had to see a bright side to everything, and I had failed myself horribly by being frustrated about the wrong things, such as not having any Juniors on the team, hence the difficulty to get someone to even listen to a 5 minute history presentation.

Amazing how the mind could overpower someone so thoroughly.

I spent the weekend recuperating with a whole day of reading (NOT Medicine). It's been a while since I was this addicted to a novel, and 'The Lost Symbol' did just that. It wasn't fantabulous, mind you, but sometimes all you need is a quiet day at home, curled up in your bed with your favourite author and a mind void of all niggling, trivial matters.

EXCEPT!!! The ending failed to deliver!! It gave me a rather anti-climax feel, and I was left a bit bewildered. Perhaps my brain is rather slow (as always), or perhaps I just need to read it again! Daisy Hoo did not seem to agree with me.

Me: OMG! Ending sucks! I need to read it again.

DH: Hahahaah. Please! Read again also ending will not change okay!

Pffttt. I will prove you wrong......well, next weekend. When I have another of my quiet reading days.

For the moment, I really need to buck up tomorrow and get my Mojo back.

*psychs self* I Love Oncology. I will find my Grand Round patient tomorrow. I love Dr. B.

On another note, visited the Queen today. More on that another time ;)


Sunday, September 12, 2010

I Dream a Dream


So after ten thousand years, I FINALLY got around to watching Inception last night.

One word: AMAAAAAZING.

I was afraid my attention might shift from time to time during the movie, seeing how lengthy it was and because I was suffering from some post-prandial drowsiness, but I did not drift ONE bit.

The bad thing though, was that when it had all ended, I started thinking how a movie like that could actually mess with the minds of people. Those who were, perhaps, slightly disturbed, or weaker than others - who had a mountain of emotional baggage riding on their shoulders, i.e. Marion Cotillard's character in the movie.

A dream within a dream within a dream.

Three layer dreams. Who would have thought. Hats off to the one who devised and wrote out this idea on script. I could never have thought it possible no matter how much I sharpened my literary skills (which have now turned to a mush).

Not even the slightest possible shrivel of hope, but I could not help wishing that I could wake up one day and all the shit that had happened in the past had just turned out to be one.....no, make that THREE huge bad dreams. And that the day that I wake up, I would just be in my comfortable old bed in my familiar old room in Kch, snoozing away....and that time would just have moved past an hour.

Sometimes I look at myself and I dread to think how much of the old Alyssa Sim has disappeared into nothingness, because every bit of an obstacle that topples me off my well laid-out path has brought me further and further from the person I once knew - some in ways that could be medal-deserving, others in ways that are possibly heart-wrenching, to say the least.

When Mal echoed "You said you had a dream that we would grow old together", I couldn't help but feel for her.

And then I remembered when hpy said how he would look back at his old photos and realise that he could never smile back the way he used to anymore. I look back at mine and think that I look like a shadow of the past.

Hpy had a dream that he was rolling in money. I had a dream that all the mistakes I had made in the past year or two had been just one hell of a nightmare.

But ahh.....what's to say. We wake up. Nothing has changed an iota. Reality sucks, my dear.